Nature's Candy

Our host, Guo (the husband in the Guo and Niu super-duo... man I like how that sounds!), was a communications engineer for the Party from the late 60s into the mid-90s, during which his responsibilities changed from telegraphing (I think) to internet communication. I know I'm missing some information in between (probably a whole lot that I'll be able to tease out in the near future), but his interests go way beyond farming and communication. Before Eunice and I arrived in Hainan, we had exchanged some e-mails regarding our plans. At one point he mentioned that he was writing a book that he would like some help translating.


I never fooled myself into thinking I was competent enough to translate a book, let alone a book whose subject matter was something as complex as "systems theory." "Systems theory" is something I barely understand, even (or maybe I should say "especially") after Guo's explanation: how his disagreement with Darwin's theory of natural selection and competition inspired his research; how all things in all subjects of study are governed by three "systems"; how Jean-Baptiste Lamarck and other 17th and 18th century philosophers were on-target with their theories of how things came to be; how Darwin might have unlocked the secrets of humanity if he had today's technology. Much of our conversation about systems theory (which lasted about 2 hours) was tough for me to understand, not just conceptually, but because of the partially eroded language barrier. I basically only know that systems theory can (or tries to) explain everything. Everything. This excerpt from the Wikipedia page sums up the theory's lofty goals: "Systems theory is the transdisciplinary study of systems in general, with the goal of elucidating principles that can be applied to all types of systems in all fields of research." It was a pretty draining, and my interest waned about halfway through. Such is the nature of many of our conversations, though: I only understand parts of them, and even when I think we've exhausted the topic he takes it somewhere new, probably not getting how little I'm catching.

Life is strange here. Sometimes I don't know who has it harder: me, the translator, who has to bore through all these conversations, translate what I know, admit to Eunice when I don't understand half of what they're saying (and this is awkwardly done right in front of our hosts, though they don't know that's what I'm telling her; or Eunice, who has to have these conversations filtered through a semi-competent translator, can't say what she wants to say if it's out of my ability, has to deal with my inability to take time out of their sometimes-too-engaging conversations to translate what they've said, etc. I'm also not too deft at ending these conversations (the last one, which went from Cultural Revolution/Great Leap Forward to Taiwan-China relations to American politicians Chinese people like [Nixon, Kissinger, Clinton] to Somalian pirates to North/South Korea relations and ended up lasting about 2 hours). All in all, it ain't too easy, but I guess I didn't come here for easy. In the end, though, it all makes Eunice and I laugh - the situation we're in, that is. And I'm glad we can deal with it like that. 

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Here are some selected shorts from the last couple days:

-At last, Eunice and I actually got to help pick some mangoes. We alternated climbing a ladder up to the fruits brandishing a pair of stem-cutters, often climbing through clouds of bugs or spiders’ webs. After a short photo shoot with Niu, we literally enjoyed the fruits of our labor (I promise that’s the last time I’ll say that). I’m actually in love with the egg mangoes (called such for their smaller size elliptical shape) and their delightfully sour taste.

-It rained a little bit in the afternoon. A tease - it didn’t make things any cooler. However, it was the coolest night here so far. Unrelated phenomena in my eyes.

-We made about 77 dumplings with Guo and Niu for dinner. A dumpling feast. I have yet to completely finish a meal given to us by these two - they are far too generous with the portions. For those who thought working on a farm would make me skinnier... well you’d lose that bet.

-We went to the beach the next morning - Lingao Beach. It was pretty deserted, but pleasant. Warm weather, warm water, and all at 9am. Astounding. The air was clear, the water not as much, though certainly not dirty. We threw the frisbee a bit, gathered tiny crabs to feed the ducks when we got back (both activities - catching, then feeding - immensely enjoyable).

-After swimming and crab-hunting for a bit, an encroaching tide pushed us up and off the beach, into an early lunch where we enjoyed some garlicky veggies, chickens’-leg clams, some sort of fish, and some crab. Niu impressed us with her ability to scour a single crab for the entire meal, getting every bit of meat it could have possibly provided. She had prefaced this, fittingly, with a story of a man who took a ten-hour train from Shanghai and spent the entire trip eating a single crab. I think Niu could give that man a run for his money.

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Everyday is a little different, though the skeleton of each day is the same: 

+Wake up at 7

+Eat an over-filling breakfast and talk about how Eunice doesn't eat meat, get health tips from our wise and knowledgable hosts. Today's tip: if you don't eat egg yolks, you will die young. Breakfast is invariably followed by a fruit feast of Elephant Tooth and Egg Mangoes, and today some lychee was added to the mix. (add that to the growing lists of "fruits I've eaten")

+Do about a half hour of manual labor in the garden

+Shower

+Read/study Chinese (started doing flashcards today - waddup Wang Kai)

+Lunch (again, too much food)

+Internet for way too long (often spent blogging, scouring lifehacker/kotaku/gizmodo/facebook... I've actually grown an aversion to looking at political commentary since I've gotten here... a positive development, though not helpful for discussion of current events)

+Eat dinner (my stomach is about to burst at this point)

+Take a walk around the neighborhood, start walking back as it gets too dark to see/almost get run over by a variety of automobiles on the narrow road.

+Internet and read until we're too tired to stay up any longer (this is the best method for getting to sleep in the humidity... and yes, internet is a verb now)

Oh! Before I forget, I'd like to publicly announce that you were right, mom: fruit is nature's candy. It's sweet, sour, mushy, yummy and everything good you said it would be. I never should have doubted you. Now what else have I been missing out on?

Hot and Slow: Life in Hainan

 DISCLAIMER: Since Eunice has done a great job of reporting what our first couple of days in China were like (bouncing around from Hong Kong to Guangzhou to Hainan) here at her blog, I decided to spare everybody some time and report a bit more in depth on what life in Hainan is like. Enjoy

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When life is as slow and uneventful as it is here in Linggao County, my mind tends to wander. Sometimes I tend toward thoughts of futility: why even shower or drink water when the refreshment derived from those actions lasts for mere minutes, if that long at all? At other times, I tend towards a sort of self-loathing: why am I spending my time here so idly, by just reading, resting, or fanning myself? Why don’t I be a little productive and study Chinese, stretch, do something that makes my time feel well-used? I also find myself trying, but quickly failing, to appreciate the unique circumstances I find myself in. “Try and find the hidden beauty in the ubiquity of cow shit” I tell myself. The lack of direction and purpose in my daily life in Linggao County is of course one of the factors generating these generally negative, unfulfilling thoughts.

It was a surprise to me and Eunice that we would spend more time each day eating our hosts’ produce than helping them farm it. In fact, the farming-to-eating ratio of our first two days is approximately 1:18. This isn’t because they’re hesitant to give us work. It’s just a fact of life in Hainan that the best hours for manual labor are the hours when the sun isn’t overhead, which excludes most of the day from being used for work. This has had several effects on our stay here:

1) The feeling that we are taking advantage of our hosts’ hospitality is of much greater magnitude, since we have so little help to offer.

2) Much of the day is spent idly (as mentioned above); as such, the hours feel elongated. No doubt this feeling is exacerbated by the heat, making each dull hour slowly melt into the next.

3) I can’t help but sometimes feel our time in China could be spent more richly - seeing more places, meeting more people, etc. As Eunice puts it, in a more “tourist-y” fashion (and she means that in the most damning sense of the word). I, however, have no problem with the idea of ditching the dull to pursue the new, exciting, yada yada yada.

I guess that last notion means I haven’t yet gotten completely used to the idea of WWOOFing - of acclimating to, and eventually (one hopes) appreciating the kinds of lives other people live. I certainly am more used to life here than I was 3 days ago, when we arrived. I’m more used to the heat, setting up mosquito nets every time we have to sleep, eating fruit at nearly every meal, and waking up to a concert of roosters at about 5am every morning (by the way, I think the South Park guys got the idea for the recurring “Dey took ar jerbs” joke from listening to roosters crowing. Thinking about it in those terms actually helps me deal with that otherwise unbearably obnoxious sound.). But I don’t think that says very much. I think the greater challenge is going to be making it through the dullness, the slowness, and making these qualities of life something more welcome than not.

Of course, our first couple days in China weren’t 100% perfect. Lugging our baggage around, running from train station to train station, getting misinformation from receptionists, and just plain getting lost is something that happened much more frequently those first few days than since we got to Hainan. And that is most definitely a welcome change. You can probably tell it’s sometimes hard for me to be completely content with what I’m doing - always wanting more, or wanting something that I don’t have. I bet it’s pretty hard for anybody reading this to be sympathetic with that sentiment. I’m in no way bitter or discontent with my situation - I just have the occasional pang that I could and should be doing something else. But my life in Hainan won’t last forever, and I know the experience will only make me better, no matter how slow life is.

I’m determined to own every day I’m here in China. As slow or fast as things get, I will find the best in them. So consider this the last whiny post on this blog. :D

Bar None

WARNING: This post may include an egregious amount of sentimentality, open-heartedness and cliches. Continue at your own risk.
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This past week has been surprisingly devoid of anxiety, which is not what one would expect for a recently graduated young man who is particularly anxiety-prone and about to embark upon a year long journey in China, effectively putting into motion a dream which he has had for nearly a third of his life. In fact this week has been pretty breezy for this young man. At the start of the week, he thought all he wanted to do was have one last taste of the foods he would be deprived of for the next year. What a dope. Short-sighted, foolish, dopey boy. Thankfully, he wasn't limited by his imagination, and he ended up getting much more than he ever could have expected out of his final week in the States. He learned. He loved. He had the time of his life.

Now this young man, it should be noted, never took a creative writing class, so gracefully phasing from third- to first-person is not his forte (an understatement, if there ever was). He's not even sure if that's something taught in creative writing classes. So a painfully self-aware paragraph highlighting one of his many shortcomings must, unfortunately, suffice. His name is Dan, and he is about to change the perspective from third-person - wait for it - to first. Huzzah.

I have a hard time approaching anything sentimental without some degree of comedy. Some of you experienced my overly hysterical fake-crying or my awkward attempts to crack jokes upon our recent goodbyes - others must use their imaginations. I find it easier to make shitty jokes than say "I'm so bad at goodbyes!", but I think it's a cop-out nonetheless. The urge to do that, however, undoubtedly derives from my inability to sufficiently express the affection for the people I'm saying goodbye to. And though it's tough for me to show, you should all know that I have an incredible amount of love for all of you who made it a point to make yourselves present this weekend. There are some of you out there who couldn't make it in person or could only come by for a couple of minutes, but my love for those of you who fall into this camp is no less strong or genuine. I was overwhelmed by the affection I received these past two weeks, so much so that my heart (or for the more literal among you, my "chest" or my "feeling area") still LITCHERALLY feels swollen. It has become inundated with love, friendship, joy, and I'm sure some of it has to be Red Dog. A better feeling in the world, there is not.

Now my first reaction to the ridiculous amount of love I received this week is that I just don't deserve it. I don't deserve my own party. I don't deserve friends driving down from Boston or coming in from NYC. I was just touched beyond comprehension by the unconditional displays of affection - I mean, I don't know when I've gone to such lengths just to be with a friend (except, obviously, Eunice my love). But I guess people don't "earn" or "deserve" friends or acts of friendship. In other words, one does not and should not calculate what one has done for them in order to figure out if something is worth doing for their friend. Like I said , it's straight-up unconditional. I think I have made that error before, giving myself excuses not to make the extra effort to be with a friend, and I regret every time I've done that. I regret it because I now know how good it feels to know you have people in your life that don't give a shit about your track record, and will be with you just for the sake of being with you. It's an unbelievable sensation, and it's something I'll carry with me for the rest of my life.

I have an incredible collection of friends from all different areas of my life. Old and new, near and far. Seeing you all in one place lit up my heart and made me finally realize what a rich and beautiful life I have. It makes me that much sadder to leave you all for now, but wherever you end up, know this well: I'll find you. And you can thank yourselves for that.

China-tinerary

NOTE: At the time of this post, I have 26 days left in the US. About 12 left in Boston, and the rest in Ridgewood. I want to make the most of each and every day, so I'll be coming up with a bucket list of sorts - not just of things to do but also of people to see. It's not a lot of time, but I'll do my best to see all you people I love and care about dearly. 

I've been reciting my Summer itinerary to everyone recently, and thought I might be able to nip some inquiries in the bud by writing out my plans here... even though I know almost everyone who is going to ask me about my summer doesn't even know I have a blog. Whatever. This is just for me then.

Date of departure: June 8th. If anyone wants to see us off (kidding!) Eunice and I be flying out from JFK around 1pm. It'll be a whole year after that until we touch US soil again. We're flying into Hong Kong the evening of June 9th, sleeping there a day, then travelling to Guangzhou the next day. There's a ferry that leaves from a port in Guangzhou, and we'll be taking that ferry to Haikou, the capital of Hainan province. Our hosts, Guo Zhi Zhong and Niu Gui Ping, will meet us at the port, and we'll travel west of Haikou to get to their farm. There we will be picking mangos and burning in the sun for a month, until about July 15th. Then, it's on to Lijiang in Yunnan province.

In Lijiang, we'll be staying with an ex-pat from New Zealand who guides tours around the area. He describes himself as a beer and cheese maker, and it's not exactly clear what we'll be doing for him. One month there, then we're taking a train from Lijiang to Guilin, which is where we'll be spending September through next June. Eunice and I will be teaching English at Guilin University of Electronic Technology.

Planes, trains and ferries. Gonna be covering a lot of distance this summer. This is probably the most ambitious plan I've ever had, and seeing it all out in front of me like this elicits a pretty wide range of emotions. Maybe it's just that I'm listening to The Tough Alliance right now, but I'm feeling more optimistic than anything else. Anyways, this post isn't about feelings; it's about letting you guys know what I'm doing. So there it is.

I'll be posting more in the coming weeks about other China-trip related things: successes, failures, epiphanies, recommendations, parties, existential dilemmas/trilemmas, etc. I might get a little redundant at times, but I'll do my best not to be! I might get a little redundant at times, but I'll do my best not to be!

Much love,

Deniel

Violent Images

College is technically over for me, but I've still got lots to finish. I can't, however, get over this particular conundrum:

There is a debate over whether Obama should release the images of Osama bin Laden's corpse. There is an argument to be made, an argument that existed BEFORE this debate, that the American people are so shielded from the images of war that they are oblivious to the real pain, suffering, trauma, etc. that it generates. If people are so oblivious to these qualities of war- qualities that are an inherent part of any war - they will more readily support wars, whether they are on-going, currently being debated, or in the unforeseeable future. Indeed, when you make war less atrocious, you make it more palatable. This, I believe, is extremely undesirable.

On the other side of the debate, people claim that the frequent exposure to images exposing the more grisly, ugly, and painful elements of war will eventually desensitize us, making us less moved by the images, and thus reducing our general reaction to violence and pain altogether. I'm not sure about the psychology behind this, but it seems a reasonable point to make.

The reason I bring this debate up at all is that one of my true heroes, Jon Stewart, often a voice of reason, cutting through the cacophony of extremist, alarmist, and over-the-top talking heads, has just come out supporting the release of the pictures. He cites, more or less, argument number 1. While I, in some ways, agree with his sentiment, what kind of implication does releasing Osama's picture as the first of these pictures to reveal war's atrocities have? I know it'll please many - I don't know how many minds will be changed by it. I think, all in all, to call for the release of this photo in particular in order to start a trend of more honest depictions of war, is quite an intellectually dishonest claim.

First of all, this was not a product of war. This was the product of a 10 year manhunt; a concerted Navy SEALs operation. This was devoid of so many of the elements of war, that to say it can help the American people decide whether they truly support war or not is just plain wrong. Second of all, Jon has not hidden how personally biased he is by his closeness to 9/11 (both spatially and spiritually). He said this bias precludes him from being any sort of "reasonable" commentator on the subject. And though maybe I should have taken that claim seriously, I can't help but be surprised by his temporary abdication of the role of most reasonable man on television. He's been the mouthpiece of the people who just can't support or abide by the extreme elements in our society, and we've looked up to him for a long time. But here he has justified his foray into extremism by saying it can help the American people decide about war. He has put "reasonable" make-up on his extreme idea, and when he blurs the line he himself has painted, he loses some credibility in my eyes.

So I say no: we can't start to portray a more honest picture of war with the corpse of former public enemy number 1. I don't know how we do portray war more honestly, but this isn't the place start; we're as bloodthirsty as ever, as a nation, and putting that picture in circulation is the last thing that will make us think reasonably.

whAt i DiD todaY

• Ate a bowl of pho
• Worked on a calligraphy presentation about the four materials
• Made some promises I can't keep
• Researched theories about the application of affirmative action policies
• Drooled on my face

Stay tuned for some other mediocre accomplishments. 

Troublemaking

First off, apologies for the long period of radio silence. If memory serves me correctly, I haven't made a post since before my Fall break. So sorry to everyone that has actually been reading my blog. At the moment, my American classmates are making a fantastic 'Merican-style brunch consisting of hashbrowns and cheddar-oozing omelets. Last night we watched Zoolander, and as of late we've all but dispensed of our language pledge, which signals to me that everyone is ready to get back to the comforting familiarity of the American lifestyle.

Of course, that is primarily because life since my last post has been so overwhelmingly chock full of China, Chinese people, Chinese food, et cetera that, for someone whose most comfortable environment is lying atop his feather bed, on his ridiculously high-threadcount sheets, under a quadruple-goose down comforter (read: spoiled and sheltered), this can be exhausting. Admittedly, I've done better in the last two and a half months, avoiding napping every day after class; finishing homework faster to get out of my dorm and actually take advantage of the fact that I'm in China and thus should not be doing things that could be done in my apartment in Boston; pressuring classmates to try a new bar, and so on. However, this is all pretty antithetical to my true nature, which is lazy, unmotivated, perpetually lethargic: just sloth-like in general. 

Before coming here, I had ridiculous expectations. Aside from expectations for my language skills, I thought this program would bring out the hard-working, focused, motivated student in me. I thought it would change my work ethic. But from the beginning, I've been plagued with the feeling that I'm merely rising to the occasion - well, that phrase actually sounds too heroic. How about, "meeting expectations"? Yeah, that captures the feeling. The feeling that my output is not a result of my personal motivation, but of fear of failing or embarrassment. This has certainly been the most that has ever been expected from me, and I've done a good job at meeting those expectations, but I have little doubt in my mind that I'll be the same sloth I was before I came to China, given the circumstances are just as lax. And with graduation just around the bend, that's worrisome.

But! But but but... of course you don't spend 3 months in a foreign country, only speaking the language and just get jack shit out of it! What my time here has afforded me is - as Stephen Colbert aptly put it in actually candid (out of character!) responses to questions from reddit users - a propensity for "getting in trouble." Here's how the truthy one himself put it (in response to "what did you do to excel your career when you weren't booking gigs"):

I mostly just said yes to any opportunity to get on stage. Pay or no pay. Equity, amateur, comedy, avant garde, and improv especially. Chicago has a great improv community, and I could get up on stage a lot after I got to know the other members of the community. I called it getting in trouble. You say yes to something, then you are in trouble. You have to deliver. Each mini-crisis I forced myself into made me work hard.

What I like about this characterization is that "getting in trouble" doesn't sound good, because initially it doesn't really feel that good either - it's nerve-wracking, it's totally mysterious what might be demanded of you or how well you'll respond. It's most certainly a mini-crisis, warranting the label "crisis" only for the fact that pretty much everyone has a strong aversion to putting themselves in such unsure, potentially uncomfortable situations. But there are so many benefits to it, eventually you realize that it's silly not to get in trouble more often. I was about to type out all the the positives I've noticed about getting in trouble, but I realized there's no point: getting in trouble is just one of those things that you can tell people all about how beneficial it is and how much it has helped you, but you can't make it seem more appealing. I'll just say I wish I cultivated this skill - or, more accurately, combatted the doubt and fear which prevented me from getting in trouble in the first place - a whole lot earlier. Without it, I wouldn't have had some of the most memorable experiences I can recall here in Hangzhou. I hope, if nothing else, I can take "getting in trouble" home with me. 

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I'm sure y'all wanna here more about my (mis)adventures around China and not so much about my personal revelations and all that shit. I owe the fact that I can't broadcast the stories to you to 2 reasons: (1) Poor narrative voice - I just can't shape a story (though I can try!); (2) this experience just gets me all introspective and I get caught up in my personal improvement and I'm just pretty self-centered in general XD oops. But I know the stories is what y'all really want, so I'll give you some capsule-stories. How about that? Huh? You think that's alright? Good!

+I entered a 5v5 soccer tournament a couple weeks ago with some of my classmates. World Cup style, first round was round-robin style. Our final record was 1-1-1 and we didn't go onto the next round. The experience was great though: I got to use the games as a pretense to speak English, order people around, sports tap strangers, and give a kid 2 stitches in his forehead (we both went up for a header, though while I was coming down, he was going up, and my canines sank into his forehead. I forgot how much I enjoy the taste of others' blood.)

+Spent one night in Shanghai. As soon as we arrived in Shanghai, one of our friends flushed her phone down the toilet. Setting the bar that high that early on is inadvisable, as the rest of the night got only more ridiculous. Battled 6 Shanghai breakers in a bar - got smoked hard. After finding out the open-bar we were planning on going to wasn't an open-bar on Saturdays, we drank booze in a park, where we were approached by homeless people with monkeys on leashes: photo op commenced, though photos show I don't look nearly as ecstatic as I should for having a monkey on my shoulder. Overall pretty dirty situation. One of my party passed out in a staircase, only to be found by Shanghai's Finest. All but one lady puked. We all slept in McDonalds. Woof.

+Last night bunch of my classmates and I attended a "Jiaoliu Wanhui" which basically translates to "Communication Party." It only came about because of my classmate, Le Xiong, and his great aptitude for getting in trouble. He actually ended up co-hosting this party, which he gets endless props from me for following through with. What at first was billed as a regular party that was interested in having some foreign students attend, ended up being a "Make Friends with Foreign Students" party. That's actually what they called it. We were the main attraction. The night was filled with games (all of which were balloon based and hilariously awkward), terribly-sung songs, and opportunities for (of course) making friends with foreign students. Fun? Yes. Awkward? Abso-fucking-lutely. Regrets? Nahhhhh. Just getting in trouble.

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I got more, but it's time to get started on my 2400 character essay and prepare for finals. I have 3 more days of class, then 3 days of reading period, then a week of finals. It's hard to believe I'm this close to finishing up the program and coming home soon. I'm spending a week traveling after the program ends, which means I'm due home December 28th. Much love to all y'all. Kill those finals. Ass-ream those LSATS. Decorate those apartments. Give eskimo kisses. And play in the snow, it only happens once a year.