Of course, that is primarily because life since my last post has been so overwhelmingly chock full of China, Chinese people, Chinese food, et cetera that, for someone whose most comfortable environment is lying atop his feather bed, on his ridiculously high-threadcount sheets, under a quadruple-goose down comforter (read: spoiled and sheltered), this can be exhausting. Admittedly, I've done better in the last two and a half months, avoiding napping every day after class; finishing homework faster to get out of my dorm and actually take advantage of the fact that I'm in China and thus should not be doing things that could be done in my apartment in Boston; pressuring classmates to try a new bar, and so on. However, this is all pretty antithetical to my true nature, which is lazy, unmotivated, perpetually lethargic: just sloth-like in general.
Before coming here, I had ridiculous expectations. Aside from expectations for my language skills, I thought this program would bring out the hard-working, focused, motivated student in me. I thought it would change my work ethic. But from the beginning, I've been plagued with the feeling that I'm merely rising to the occasion - well, that phrase actually sounds too heroic. How about, "meeting expectations"? Yeah, that captures the feeling. The feeling that my output is not a result of my personal motivation, but of fear of failing or embarrassment. This has certainly been the most that has ever been expected from me, and I've done a good job at meeting those expectations, but I have little doubt in my mind that I'll be the same sloth I was before I came to China, given the circumstances are just as lax. And with graduation just around the bend, that's worrisome.
But! But but but... of course you don't spend 3 months in a foreign country, only speaking the language and just get jack shit out of it! What my time here has afforded me is - as Stephen Colbert aptly put it in actually candid (out of character!) responses to questions from reddit users - a propensity for "getting in trouble." Here's how the truthy one himself put it (in response to "what did you do to excel your career when you weren't booking gigs"):
I mostly just said yes to any opportunity to get on stage. Pay or no pay. Equity, amateur, comedy, avant garde, and improv especially. Chicago has a great improv community, and I could get up on stage a lot after I got to know the other members of the community. I called it getting in trouble. You say yes to something, then you are in trouble. You have to deliver. Each mini-crisis I forced myself into made me work hard.
What I like about this characterization is that "getting in trouble" doesn't sound good, because initially it doesn't really feel that good either - it's nerve-wracking, it's totally mysterious what might be demanded of you or how well you'll respond. It's most certainly a mini-crisis, warranting the label "crisis" only for the fact that pretty much everyone has a strong aversion to putting themselves in such unsure, potentially uncomfortable situations. But there are so many benefits to it, eventually you realize that it's silly not to get in trouble more often. I was about to type out all the the positives I've noticed about getting in trouble, but I realized there's no point: getting in trouble is just one of those things that you can tell people all about how beneficial it is and how much it has helped you, but you can't make it seem more appealing. I'll just say I wish I cultivated this skill - or, more accurately, combatted the doubt and fear which prevented me from getting in trouble in the first place - a whole lot earlier. Without it, I wouldn't have had some of the most memorable experiences I can recall here in Hangzhou. I hope, if nothing else, I can take "getting in trouble" home with me.
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I'm sure y'all wanna here more about my (mis)adventures around China and not so much about my personal revelations and all that shit. I owe the fact that I can't broadcast the stories to you to 2 reasons: (1) Poor narrative voice - I just can't shape a story (though I can try!); (2) this experience just gets me all introspective and I get caught up in my personal improvement and I'm just pretty self-centered in general XD oops. But I know the stories is what y'all really want, so I'll give you some capsule-stories. How about that? Huh? You think that's alright? Good!
+I entered a 5v5 soccer tournament a couple weeks ago with some of my classmates. World Cup style, first round was round-robin style. Our final record was 1-1-1 and we didn't go onto the next round. The experience was great though: I got to use the games as a pretense to speak English, order people around, sports tap strangers, and give a kid 2 stitches in his forehead (we both went up for a header, though while I was coming down, he was going up, and my canines sank into his forehead. I forgot how much I enjoy the taste of others' blood.)
+Spent one night in Shanghai. As soon as we arrived in Shanghai, one of our friends flushed her phone down the toilet. Setting the bar that high that early on is inadvisable, as the rest of the night got only more ridiculous. Battled 6 Shanghai breakers in a bar - got smoked hard. After finding out the open-bar we were planning on going to wasn't an open-bar on Saturdays, we drank booze in a park, where we were approached by homeless people with monkeys on leashes: photo op commenced, though photos show I don't look nearly as ecstatic as I should for having a monkey on my shoulder. Overall pretty dirty situation. One of my party passed out in a staircase, only to be found by Shanghai's Finest. All but one lady puked. We all slept in McDonalds. Woof.
+Last night bunch of my classmates and I attended a "Jiaoliu Wanhui" which basically translates to "Communication Party." It only came about because of my classmate, Le Xiong, and his great aptitude for getting in trouble. He actually ended up co-hosting this party, which he gets endless props from me for following through with. What at first was billed as a regular party that was interested in having some foreign students attend, ended up being a "Make Friends with Foreign Students" party. That's actually what they called it. We were the main attraction. The night was filled with games (all of which were balloon based and hilariously awkward), terribly-sung songs, and opportunities for (of course) making friends with foreign students. Fun? Yes. Awkward? Abso-fucking-lutely. Regrets? Nahhhhh. Just getting in trouble.
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I got more, but it's time to get started on my 2400 character essay and prepare for finals. I have 3 more days of class, then 3 days of reading period, then a week of finals. It's hard to believe I'm this close to finishing up the program and coming home soon. I'm spending a week traveling after the program ends, which means I'm due home December 28th. Much love to all y'all. Kill those finals. Ass-ream those LSATS. Decorate those apartments. Give eskimo kisses. And play in the snow, it only happens once a year.
